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  • sophrocoach22

Strive for your best, not for perfect.

How many times have you not tried - dancing tango, writing a short story, drawing or painting, going to a party you were invited to but knew only the host or just eating alone in a restaurant?

Instead you told yourself that it would be boring, that you were tired anyway, that you needed to finish a work project or that your kids were still small or that you would be surely the worst one in that activity and weirdo in that restaurant.

If you listened carefully to your emotions in the first place - when you were considering to try, to go for the experience maybe you would feel your fear talking you out of trying. Fear of what? Fear would be justified if there was a shooting in the street at that moment, or strong wind and weather alert or you had a broken leg and it was slippery outside. Or your kids were down with fever and needed you. But if there was none reasonable obstacle, then the fear came probably from the past and most probably from your childhood.

In our childhood most of us were compared - either with our siblings or classmates or both. Usually in the context of looking at someone who is doing better, trying better, focusing better, making more effort - the list is endless. Some of us maybe had fantastic parents who never compared us with others but we were raised in generally competitive environment. We compared ourselves, which is also a natural thing to do but nobody told us that the benchmark should be us, to do better than yesterday but not because our friend was fast forward in everything. This created a fear of failure. Our wounds also come from the things we did not receive when we should have - including comforting advice, words of acceptance and encouragement.

We live in a world that is presented in media or social media either as a total catastrophe and apocalypse or as a flawless paradise. When we are tired of illnesses, wars, killings and natural disasters in the news we lean towards the images of perfect people with great careers and accidentally also very beautiful, who spend their whole life in nice places sipping champagne or having cappuccinos with cakes. If they do not have a gorgeous family then they are single but happily single and adventurous. We of course wonder and doubt and despair - we will never be so perfect.

Acknowledging that our fears come from the past and have little to do with the present situation is the first step towards conscious living. To be aware of what we are served by media and also how we choose what we see and how that affects us helps us to make better choices for tomorrows. Maybe instead of chasing away the fear by finding excuses , we can start slowly exploring our capabilities. We may imagine we are children who try almost everything and they enjoy it - until somebody starts to evaluate them. Instead of grabbing the phone or the remote from TV we can grab that pen, water colours, the party dress and courage to eat alone. Maybe it will be not a perfect story, picture, party or dinner but it will be our best in that moment. Living our life with this in mind is not only healthy but also liberating.

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