Advice for women on social media make us more worried than clever

Worried woman

If you think opening your socials in the morning or evening is harmless you are maybe mistaken. Dozens of articles pop up instantly in our feed - all claiming they know the one ingredient we miss to live better. The problem, dozens of articles propose dozens of different ingredients.

Nutrition. Are you starting your morning with a bowl of muesli and chia seeds? Wrong. You thought you would give your body fibre and omega-3 fatty acids? Well, you did not consider the sugar spike danger. Your breakfast should be savoury, full of protein but obviously not consisting of bacon or ham - No1 carcinogenic food.

Physical exercise. Avid runner, lover of Zumba? Wrong. Not enough. To build stronger bones and not to lose your muscle mass (over 30 you are already doomed) you need to wear the weighted vest regularly and lift. Not your funny colourful dumbbells. Really heavy. Do not ask me what heavy is, because according to general guideline for safe manual handling for a woman it is a maximum of 16kg (35lbs). But apparently you can do much better in a gym. With guidance, of course.

Child rearing was never as much of a riddle as it is nowadays. Not only you are supposed to breastfeed, make home-made food in bio quality, wash with non-toxic detergent, play and develop learning activities according to Montessori, Waldorf or Reggio Emilia method, and some others but you need to be present enough but not a helicopter parent.

Intimate relationships. Evolutionary we are not predisposed to live 50-60 years with one partner. Yet, women should try. Always. Never give up. Watch Esther Perel or at least read the Gottmans´work - The seven principles for making marriage work. Combine with couple therapy. Is your hubby a bit reticent? Never mind, try harder, work on yourself. On your behaviour, on your shape, on your attitude. And above all - stay positive. Everything works out in the end. (Like on a death bed?)

Caring for elderly relatives. Yes, we know that there is a gender dis-balance. Yes, we know that women get more emotionally involved and attached to their "patients". We also know that women are not specifically prepared for this role, yet the society expects them to step in just because they are women. Do not worry. Your feed will give you useful tips and tricks about setting healthy boundaries, how to ask for help, how to recognise the signs of burnout and many more.

Back to ourselves. Be "au courant" how to prevent neurodegenerative disease in yourself, otherwise you could not follow up on the steps mentioned above. Crosswords, sudoku, new language learning is not enough. You need to step out of your comfort zone. Have you hated math at school? That is, it. Go back to math, do not resist, embrace it, visualise only positive outcomes for your brain while calculating again during long winter evenings.

The truth is the information we get in our feed, or the info the daily or weekly magazines target women at are interesting. The results of new research are good to know about. The possibilities and choice we have these days could be used to our advantage.

Also, the truth is that our brain is not "made" to function well with this overload. The over generalisation that inevitably happens in popular articles and even more in short stories may be potentially dangerous.

Take the example of short Instagram or Facebook story. They are often filmed in advance. They involve careful preparation. They most likely involve additional staff. Do you think that the top paid gynaecologist in the world films themselves as they prepare their morning collagen smoothie at 6 a.m. before they go to ward? Very unlikely. But it gives the impression that this is how every single day starts and then unfolds according to very controllable and goal driven scenario.

All advice we see during the day and the way it is presented give us the impression that there is so much to do. So many things to take care of, introduce and then keep and not to skip, that we want to down the bottle of wine upon arrival from work. And then we remember that the new research says that no amount of alcohol is safe. We often feel worried or missing out. We constantly exchange info on what to do and not to do to have happy relationship, kids, parents, age well and die peacefully that we forget to live. Here and Now.

Indeed, we can disconnect from social media - but for how long? If disconnection is the only way to find peace, then should not we stop using social media forever?

What would be then my advice, the secret ingredient, the one that will help you to live better (lol)?

Go for it all - the immersive experience. Swim frantically in the flood of info, panting for breath and eventually let go, mute the prominent experts, just watch memes, cute cat stories or National Geographic videos. Then let go of expectations to be able to improve all aspects of life and the fact that you could ditch your smartphone. Check regularly how you feel about the things you see online, before opening or watching something new, ask yourself - do I need this info? What would more knowledge in this area allow me to do/or not to do?

Breathe in and breathe out, close your eyes and tell yourself: I am fine. With all that is on my plate I am doing my best. Finally, do not forget that your best today is not your best of tomorrow.